How would you finish that sentence? What exactly is it that you would do, if you could, whether it be the past, present, or future?!

For me, I would go back and change my attitude! Are there things in life I would do differently? Of course! But at the same time, everything I have been through has made me who I am today!!! So mine is, “if only I had allowed myself to be in better control my emotions and/or my attitude.”

But…….since nobody has invented a time machine and most likely won’t, I’ll have to just start right now with how I want to proceed in life. And hear me when I say………IT’S NOT EASY! I’ve had some major psycho moments y’all and and learning how to reign in the anger and take deep breathes before responding takes A LOT of self discipline! But in the end, it’s better to start now, right?!

So what is your, “if only”? And what do you need to do to work toward it? If it’s in the past, you get to decide how you will move forward. If it’s in the here and now, what is stopping you? And if it’s in the future, how can you work toward what you’d like to see happen?!

There will always be those “if only” moments that you can’t do anything about, so you have to choose how you will accept what cant be changed and move on. For me, it would be the death of my mom! No matter how much I look back and reflect I will never be able to change that she isn’t here! So the next best thing is to keep her memory alive and know without a doubt that she would be proud of me!

Self esteem, self confidence, and knowing your self worth plays a huge role in the things you would like to see happen in your life. And you only get one go round in this journey. So please, make sure you are surrounding yourself with those who are building you up and guiding you in the right direction!

Turn your “if only” into a “this is how I will” by making a plan. Make a short term plan or a long term plan, but make one. Don’t forget to include small goals so you can remind yourself of your progress. And when you fall and get off track, get up and start again!

How easy is it to sit and contemplate what could or might go wrong? And not only that, but how many sit and decide how you will react to each scenario specifically? Looking back, I could’ve been a certified worrier, because that was all I did! Anything that could cause me to fret, I opened the door and welcomed it in. Whether it was how to pay bills, something regarding the kids, cut backs on a job, or the grass growing too fast, I worried! I wish I was exaggerating when I tell you these things, but unfortunately, I’m just not that good of a story teller.

If you describe someone as a worrier, you mean that they spend a lot of time thinking about problems that they have or unpleasant things that might happen. (Collins dictionary)! You guys, I literally made up things to worry about! And then one day (way too late in life) I began to realize that I couldn’t continue to live like that!

I had to do something different! I came across a tattoo that said: “warr;or” and it immediately resonated with me! The semi-colon represents “my story isn’t over” or “keep going” and that’s what I decided had to be done. I have a husband and 2 children that love me big and I knew I couldn’t continue to make life harder for them by being a worrier, so I changed my thought pattern and became a warr;or!

“Although logically linked with someone engaged in war, a warrior can be anyone who fights the good fight, whether in politics, on the job, or just as a “weekend warrior” trying to accomplish multiple tasks during off-hours at home.” (Vocabulary.com dictionary).

It takes a lot of strength to get up and keep going, but it can be done! It takes a lot of self talks and reminding that, in the end, everything will be okay! It takes a warr;or mindset to win the battle and put the worry behind you! But all of these things can be done! You CAN become a warr;or instead of a worrier! Will you fall? Yes! But get back up and do it again! Because when troubles come, you have to deal with them! There’s no sweeping them under the rug and pretending they aren’t going to happen! But why borrow the worry from tomorrow? Choose to be a warr;or instead of a worrier!

What are you holding onto that you need to let go of so you can heal?

I am 41 years old and I am very good at recalling all the past hurts from my childhood, teens, and even the things my husband did or didn’t do in our marriage (then or now)! And all that does is slows down my ability to be able to heal from all of those because I can’t/won’t let them go! For some strange reason, I feel if I let them go, then it’s like they didn’t happen! Although that couldn’t be further from the truth! And even though I can tell YOU that, I’m still not fully convinced of it myself! But what I do know is, every time I share my story, a little piece of hurt falls off, and my heart begins to mend!

That might sound like such an easy fix….share your story……heal. Unfortunately, I think sometimes, we stay in the “hurt” zone because it gives us a reason to be mad, angry, or frustrated at said situation or more often than not, a person! And when we hang onto hurt/blame then we feel justified in our actions. BUT, we are very much hurting ourselves in the long run. For me, any attention ws good attention, So I would sulk/pout so someone would ask me what was wrong. Wow! This sounds really immature! Can you say embarrassed?! But I wonder how many other people enjoy staying hurt?! Im just not convinced I’m the only person who has done this! And maybe there is someone reading right now that is in this stage of life and you’re looking for advice. Well, my advice is…..choose healing! Letting go of hurt DOES NOT mean what was said/done to you is okay! It means that you are choosing happiness! You are choosing health! You are choosing to move past the things you cannot change!

Letting go so you can heal is a hard process (at least it was for me)! I had to choose (still do) to move on, EVERY SINGLE DAY! It means finding the joy in the here and now, and when your mind is use to focusing on the troubles, there has to be a reset and learn to change your way of thinking. You can journal, call a loved one, or tell your dog! But be very specific about the things that made you smile. The more you can name, the better. Do this every day and watch yourself transform into a person who decided to choose healing over hurting!

Forgiveness is a choice! And at my age it is really hard to break bad habits, such as harboring harsh feelings toward those that have wronged me! But holding onto hurts, only affects me! Whether the person has said “I’m sorry” or they continue to cause your temperature to rise when they walk in the room…….find a way to forgive! Not forget so they can hurt you again, but forgive so YOU will be at peace within!

When we hold onto grudges and hurts, most likely, the person who caused the pain has no idea OR they certainly don’t care (especially if it was done with intent) and therefore they are not losing sleep over said situation.

However, when we choose forgiveness and peace, with or without an apology, we are then free! From the inside out, we are truly a free spirit who isn’t controlled by what others say or do! This then allows us to love big without caution and do what we were called to do…….love one another!

And before you decide that an apology is a must, remember……Jesus died for my sin, your sin, and the sin of everyone in the world, without an apology! He did it because he loved us! And thats what he has called you and I to do as well! Forgive often and always!

Oh man! If I only could have learned this at a younger age! I haven’t always gotten this one right, and I certainly have not mastered how to do this in every situation. However, I hope that my words can inspire you to give it your best in whatever situation is in front of you at this very moment!

As I stood in line to grab a prescription I noticed a customer getting louder with the cashier. Even though I couldn’t hear her exact words, it was obvious that she was upset. By the end of that particular exchange in words, money, and prescriptions and it was my turn to step to the counter, I noticed the cashier was visibly shaken. She politely asked for my information then she stepped back and the tears began to stroll. In that very moment, I couldn’t help but to feel sorry for how she had been treated. She kept apologizing to me for being emotional, and I wanted to give her a hug and let her know it would be okay, but covid!

Right then, the best thing I could do was reassure her and show grace. I had already waited in line, 6 feet a apart with a mask on and now I had to decide if I was going to show grace and be patient, or if I was going to be harsh because I was tired and ready to go! I’m thankful I was able to put her feelings in front of mine and stand quietly while she composed herself. After all, what good would it have done to get mad?! And as I walked away I couldn’t help but reflect on different times of when I had been THAT person!

We’re not always going to know what others are going through! If we everyone walked around with signs, we would probably gladly treat them with kindness, grace, and mercy! But since that’s not ever going to be a thing, think of how much of a nicer world this would be if we walked in grace each and every day!

It’s pretty safe to say that we’ve all been hurt by someone! Whether it was a family member or your BFF, being offended/hurt is inevitable because we are human! But I want to encourage you, to love anyways! There’s an amazing song by Martina Mcbride that says, “You can love someone with all your heart for all the right reasons
in a moment they can choose to walk away love ’em anyway”!!!! When you let anger win, you are allowing yourself to lose. For a good part of my life I’ve had a “forget you” attitude and all it got me was low quality relationships, because people don’t want negative energy in their circle. If I could have a redo in life, I would 1,000% take the opportunity because who I allowed myself to be then, and the person I’m trying to be now is flat out hard! The younger me could build great friendships/bonds, but she could also sever one in a flash! Being quick to anger and dismissing apologies has not worked well! And at the age of 41 I’m learning that allowing myself to love, regardless of what happens in the future, will help me to have zero regrets! But what about THAT person?! Well, I have a few of those in my life! I have relationships that might not ever be put back together, and I can only move forward from here. Looking back, there are faults on both ends, but now I have to move forward with love. Should my phone ring or there be a knock on my door, my arms would be wide open! Unfortunately, there are times when an apology comes to late, so we have to love from a distance. But no matter who was right or who was wrong, it’s time to move forward. It’s time to stop focusing on what should of happened, and focus on what you can do in this moment in time, and that is to love big, with no regrets from this point on!

Often times as a mom I forget to make time for myself because I am so engulfed in everything that needs to be done! After all, I’m a wife, a mom, and a teacher and I am way too good at putting myself on the back burner! I mean, there’s dinner that needs to be cooked, clothes that need to be washed, sport activities to attend, and I won’t mention all the paperwork that comes with my field of work! It’s not until I hit a breaking point that I realize, I never slowed down for ME! Yes, all of the things mentioned above needs to be done, but stepping away for 5 minutes is healthier (in the end) than trying to conquer every single item on my to do list first! I’m learning to recognize (and I hope you do too) when walking away is better. What you do in those few minutes will most likely help you to reset and come back even stronger for a job well done. Whether you are at work, home, or goodness forbid, walmart, when stress hits, find what works for you! You do you! Don’t feel guilty for taking 5! Take those minutes to decompress for your benefit!!! The world is not going to stop nor crumble by stepping away, finding relief, and clearing your mind/thoughts! And in the end……it will all work out!