It is no secret that I am not the easiest person to get along with! For any of you that follow me then you have a decent understanding of the level of crazy that I have going on! So you can only imagine what my journey with my in-laws has looked like over the years!
Ryan and I started dating in Dec. of 1997. I was 18 1/2 and he was 23 3/4. He lived on his own, I did not. He had already went through his party hard days and I was barely old enough to vote! He had a stable job without a lot of debt and I had worked at the same place for about a week and had no idea that paying bills was a real thing! **not exaggerating by much** My point is, he had a good handle on life and wasn’t necessary looking to settle down, and I had NO IDEA how to do life–in any manner–and practically had us married after our first date–which was to see Home Alone 3!
You already know that I don’t write about things I haven’t been through! AND you know that I’m a very open book regardless of how embarrassing or mortifying it is! I want others to know that I’m a human who makes mistakes and would rather take the risk of telling my stories to help even ONE person than to try and make my life sound perfect! So here it goes!
I met Ryan’s family in March of 1998, if you’re keeping up that’s 3 months of dating. I believe we were meeting his mom’s new fiance, on top of celebrating his birthday! The dinner was nice and everyone was very kind. He had a large family so it was a little intimidating, probably because I could tell they all had their life together and here I was wishing that he would already put a ring on it!
There’s kind of a big blur for the next 4 months (that takes us to July), and I just knew without a doubt that he would take me somewhere romantic, drop to one knee, and ask me the question I already had an answer for 7 months earlier! After all, my birthday is July 4th so it would’ve been THE PERFECT GIFT! Well, I got a ring, but I think it’s because he was a little scared of me and didn’t want me to sneak in his house and slit his throat. I don’t recall where we went for the evening but I do remember him handing me the box as we pulled out of my driveway and said, “happy birthday.” This didn’t really set well with me and I debated about throwing it out of the window because he didn’t do things MY WAY, but decided to go ahead and keep it. I moved in with him within the next month or so (8 months into dating) and it was ALMOST a sealed deal! Here’s where things get fun!
I was very well known for “throwing fits”, having “mad rages”, “sabotaging family events” and anything else that would put the attention back on me. It didn’t matter (to me) that I was making myself look like a fool! At this point I think there was a mutual feeling between his family and myself. I was never invited or included in activities with “the girls” (YES–I know why), but I used it as ammo to drive a wedge between them and Ryan. I cried victim A LOT–NO, I’m not proud of this!
All I can say is, Ryan must have had an itch for a journey full of adventure because in May of 1999 we gathered family and friends to watch us look each other in the eye and say our vows. I couldn’t really tell you what his family thought about it, because we (me and them) didn’t really talk. My guess is they were really hoping that one of was going to walk out and NOT follow through with the whole wedding, but………in the end they gained a daughter-n-law and sister-n-law, whether they liked it or not.
I’ll spare the details of the next 5 years, but let me just make it known, it wasn’t fun. It wasn’t just their fault and it wasn’t just my fault. It was more like 90/10. I’ll let you guess what number goes where.
On May 24th, 2004 we welcomed our sweet Nathaniel Ryan! Of course, when he turned one we planned the big party that most parents do. Two of Ryan’s sisters came and I tripped my ****!!!! I didn’t invite them so HOW DARE THEY show up to MY house and come to MY child’s b-day party of which they weren’t invited?!?! Now don’t get me wrong, I waited until after it was over, but I made it very well known later that they were NOT welcome without an invite! ***Oh how I wish I was making this up!
Over the next 3 years the relationship between me and them only worsened. At one point, I refused to be around them and went about 7 months without stepping foot in their presence. I don’t think they lost a whole lot of sleep! I did though! But only because I carried such a disdain for them and was constantly trying to find new ways for them to dislike me more than they already did!
Well, on March 7th, 2007 Kamden Scott decided he wanted his own birthday and came 10 days early. And just because I could, I REFUSED to have them at the hospital that night! (NO—I’m NOT PROUD)! And YES, they got to come the next day! The one thing I really remember is my MIL asking if she could hold my baby. I won’t even tell you the thoughts that went through my head, but thankfully I didn’t say them. I rolled my eyes and very reluctantly handed him over!
**come back for part 2**
Enjoy Every Moment 