Drop the weight of others!

I am one of those people who tend to stress and worry about situations that were never meant for me to carry! In fact, I try to be helpful and I (way too often) think I can do a better job than others and will step in to “help” whether I was asked to or not! Sometimes it works out just fine, then there are times when I crossed a boundary and I have to learn to back pedal real fast!

Carrying the weight of others is a heavy load to bear! And it causes such unnecessary stress which undoubtedly brings on anger, frustration, and even anxiety! THIS IS NOT HEALTHY!!!! Drop the weight when it’s not yours to carry! You’ll be surprised at how your whole day is altered and how much smoother it will go!

Just yesterday a friend approached me at work and asked me a question. I didn’t know the answer so I told her I would find out. I asked someone else, she didn’t know and told me who makes the decisions. Let’s just say this person is NOT a boss, but takes it upon herself to tell EVERYBODY what to do. So, I find the one “in charge” and she grumpily tells me what I need to know and I relay the information back. Afterwards, Ms. Grumpy britches decides to yell at me because I asked a question….uuuuuhhhhh……NO!

I tell you that story to say, my first initial reaction was to march myself down to the “actual boss” and tell him that he needs to go put Ms. Grumpy britches in her place. BUT…..THANKFULLY over the course of writing this blog and revealing all of my embarrassing moments, I stopped myself from even getting involved! Why? Because trying to carry the weight of ‘you know who’ was only going to make my day worse! Is it aggravating that she kind of gets to do what she wants? Hell to the yeah! Does it have absolutely anything to me! N.O.P.E! Do I have better things to do while I’m at work than worry about this particular situation? You know I do! So I laid it down (I get a pat on the back) and walked away! After-all, I had other things that needed to be done! It was a good feeling to dust my hands off and move on–for once in my life!

I have so many other examples from work that I could give–but let me save some time and just tell you-enough is enough! If it isn’t yours to begin with, don’t pick it up! If you already have, take it back to where it came from, lay it down, smile and walk away!

Now, let’s talk about carrying the weight of others—-OUTSIDE OF WORK!!!

Whether you are single, married, a parent or a combination of these, you are going to have to learn to put YOU first! I get so aggravated when people tell me….”well, my kids come first, I can do that later” or “I just don’t have time for myself because….” or “it would be selfish of me if I….” or whatever other excuse people use these days!!!! Who taught you that?!?!?! Yes, this is what the world teaches us, but it is NOT TRUE!!! You MUST take care of you, TOO!!!! And guess what…..I won’t lie to you…..there have been MANY, MANY, MANY times where I put myself, my wants, and my needs above my kids…..FOR MY SANITY!!!! For so many years, I didn’t! I didn’t go get that massage! I didn’t go to the movies with a friend! I didn’t go out with the girls because I needed to take care of everybody else, besides me! And what eventually happened, when it was too late, I crumbled underneath the weight that I had on my shoulders from everybody else! Then the crazy in me came out and I would end up regretting the next 3 days of my life because I never took the time for———ME!!! This has been my life on repeat! **Until I decided to seek medical help**

So whose weight do you need to drop? Is it from family, friends, or work? Ask yourself, why you even picked it up in the first place. Then decide if it would be detrimental to them if you laid it back down, or detrimental to your sanity if you continue to carry something that has nothing to do with you in the first place.

THE EXCEPTION:

I have a friend who has been forced to face some really big battles and storms over the last few years. Because of the nature of our friendship, she knew she could confide in me, without being judged, so she called and we talked for hours. What broke my heart was that she wasn’t just going through 1 hard trial—-she was going through 2 MAJOR life altering things, that she couldn’t help, along with the everyday things of being a mom, wife, etc. So of course, I held her hand and walked on this journey with her, as much as I could. And yes, it was hard! It was hard because I wanted to wrap her in my arms and make things go away (that weren’t going to anytime soon)! I wanted to pause time and put every broken piece of her back together as if nothing had ever happened! And I wanted to “FIX” her life so she wouldn’t have to endure the pain that oftentimes comes with life, in general! But I couldn’t! BUT, what I could do, was help her carry the weight! I could be available when she needed and ear or a shoulder! I could sit in silence when she just needed the presence of a friend! I could AND DID text her every single morning and let her know I was there and she mattered! Was it heavy? Yes, I’m crying as I type this! Do I regret it? NOT ONE SINGLE MOMENT! She is THE STRONGEST person I know and I’m so very thankful that she allowed me to help carry her through the trials that no mom should ever have to go through! And in case she is reading this……..I LOVE YOU FRIEND!!!

So yes, there will be times when you choose to carry the weight because, that’s simply what friends are for! And I will say, that she has also carried me through MANY things and she could’ve ran–but she didn’t! She has literally been my saving grace when so many other people judged and gossiped! She has stood by me through ALL my crazy and never wavered from being my friend!

So you have to decide when carrying the weight of others is impeding your health, mentally and emotionally, and then learn to put it down once and for all! And when it is needed so you can be somebody else’s saving grace!

Unfortunately, carrying the weight of others is not always black and white like I mention above. Sometimes it is hard to know if we should pick it up or run as fast as we can. In my experience, there have been times where I picked up what wasn’t mine and just carried it a little further than what was needed! THOSE times are probably the hardest! It’s one thing to be a ‘me pick me up’ when we see the need, but it can be difficult to know at what point it is okay to lay it down and move on. I personally think there are those who will take advantage of anything you’re willing to offer. And there will even be those who get upset when you decided to shed the extra weight, because that means they either have to do it on their own, or find somebody else who is willing! This is where YOU have to decide how far you are willing to go and at what point you will need to move on.

No matter what—-take care of you! Put your own health before others! Don’t be weighed down by something that isn’t yours to begin with! DROP THE WEIGHT OF OTHERS!