If you are even somewhat familiar with my blog, then you know by now that I’m nothing short of honest! You also know that I don’t throw things out there unless I’ve personally “been there done that”! This post won’t be any different on that aspect, it will however dive just a little bit deeper into who I’ve been, who I am, and who I continue to strive to be! Stick around!
Growing up both my parents worked so attending school activities or programs didn’t really happen! Although, when my senior year rolled around, I can say my mom did everything she could to attend my games! And without a doubt, she was my biggest fan! There was no doubt who she was rooting for and I loved every minute of it! Even now, I can look back with a smile and know that she is continuing to root for me to win in life, she’s just having to do it from heaven! On the other hand, my step dad had nothing to do with me and attending activities didn’t happen, at all! I’m really not over it and unfortunately, I allowed the way I grew up to negatively impact the kind of parent I’ve been! So I’m here to encourage you to do things differently than I did–your kids will thank you later!
I haven’t always made great decisions when it comes to parenting! For a long time, I suppressed some deep seeded hurt from my childhood! Rather than deal it and be the mom my kids needed me to be, I would (at times) find a way to suck the life and the energy out of the room! Perhaps it was a learned behavior, maybe it was immaturity, or maybe I was just flat out being a bigger brat than any 2 year old you’ve ever known, all because I could! Either way, I have made life way too hard for my kids and there’s nothing I can do about it! I just have to be who they need me to be starting right now!
I have always been pretty good at the “showing up” part when it comes to their school and sports activities! It’s those other activities (ya know–family functions), that I chose not to attend! And I dont mean I’ve skipped JUST a few get together meals…….no, I mean holidays such as Easter, July 4th, and even Christmas! The holidays where the most memories are made would be the ones I’ve missed out on, and it’s nobody’s fault but my own! But what is (perhaps) even worse is, the times I did go, I wasn’t involved. If I was mad or in a mood, I would literally sit in a corner and give death stares to anybody who looked my way! And THIS is what I so desperately want you to hear! Just because you’re present, doesn’t ALWAYS mean your present! Being in the room physically means nothing when you aren’t involved!
I now have an (almost) 14 year old and a 16 1/2 year old and I’ve wasted SO MUCH TIME on putting my needs/wants ahead of my kids! All because I refused to admit that I needed help! They have had to endure my pain WAY too many times and they haven’t always got to enjoy the moments that have (probably) meant the most! And now I have to live with the fact that some of their childhood memories will consist of “mom didnt come” or “mom acted like a fool” and it’s very possible that their thoughts/emotions go much deeper than I even realize! Afterall, I’ve never asked, probably because I’m too afraid of what they might say! Maybe one day soon, I’ll be brave enough to have that discussion!
As my own baby (a junior in HS) is approaching his senior year, I have way too many regrets! But focusing on what I could’ve done and/or should’ve done will get me nowhere! Time is the biggest thief, and if we’re not careful, it will slip right out of our hands with no mercy! The one thing that can’t be bought, is time! So take advantage of the time you have left by showing up and being involved! It’s not too late! I Promise!
I have no way of knowing how many people this will reach, but if you can relate to anything I’ve said just now, please know it’s not too late! You can still step up, show up, AND be involved if you want to! And maybe you want to but don’t know where to start……well…..go to the next activity you can get to, and be their biggest fan! You won’t regret it!
Enjoy Every Moment 